Have you forgotten about your physical needs since the death of your loved one? You may have lost all interest in life. Are you afraid to focus your attention on anything other than the deceased, because you think that this means that you are disrespectful?
Forgetting about yourself and thinking that any form of pleasure, when grief is wrong, causes millions of grieving to suffer unnecessarily. The beliefs that stimulate this behavior exist and are strengthened by the lack of information about the nature of the grief process.
Grief is a difficult mental and physical work; it affects every organ and system in the body. The most important thing is to understand that what you think about and how you perceive the death of your loved one is a serious stress. Early stress is overlooked. As days wear out, constant stress begins to fall in confusion, lack of sleep, a cold, headaches, and digestive disorders.
If you fail to systematically break from your grief, sometimes the stress of mourning will cause you to get round. Here are some ways to be kind to yourself, maintain your health, and minimize the chances of extending your work.
1. Self-kindness begins with the intention to change your old beliefs that you cannot enjoy yourself any time you are grieving. Your natural inclinations will be to counter these beliefs. But give yourself a break; you are not betraying your loved one. Plan time every day, or if you want, when you feel the need, excuse yourself for self-reliance. Refuse to deny yourself. What can you do?
2. Go to your personal place. Choose a place in your home where you can be free from other people's noise and phone calls. Too much time with others during the day may limit the time you need to consider certain aspects of death and your excuse without interruptions.
Here recovery through meditation, music, solitude, or rest will replenish the severe energy drain associated with grief (fear, anger, guilt, and depression consume a dense amount of energy). If you cannot be alone at an early stage for any reason, ask a friend to be with you when you answer.
3. Be kind to yourself with the benefits of beauty. Go to a beautiful area near your home. Whenever the opportunity arises, and you see a beautiful picture, a tree, a pond or a scene, use it as a signal that a force that is greater than the self says stops and enjoys. Beauty is a powerful stress-reducer and healer. Focus all your attention on this. Your body will greatly benefit from this mental relaxation, and it is quite normal to redirect your attention in this way.
4. At the appropriate time — no matter what you consider appropriate, appropriate — immerse yourself in fond memories that include (or cannot) your loved one. Think of the times when you felt loved. Go through the details of the place, the people involved, what was said and what was given or received. Think about what was learned at that time and how you could give others the information you received. Love will make you cope with your big loss.
5. Be kind to yourself, postponing important decisions. Immediately selling your home, car, or avoiding reminders about life with your loved one, you can add to your burden if they are made too early. They can easily turn into additional losses for you over time, and you look back at what was surrendered. If possible, give yourself a year to consider big steps or solutions. Be sure to consult with friends, experts and family members. Then make a decision based on what you want.
6. Spend some time reading, not just the books of others who are dealing with loss, but have thought well of authors such as Thomas Moore, Henri Nouven, Wayne Dyer and others who can give you new ideas and help in an important search sense, you may not be able to read anything at the beginning of your grief. However, as the weeks go by, ask friends, clergy, and librarians for guidance. You will be surprised by the wealth of material that will help you heal.
7. Give your compassion and time to bring up the name, because it is a big deal. This is part of a healthy adaptation to large losses. Call it My Time or Be Good to Me (or within 30 minutes). Find a catchy name and rely on it as something you deserve as you do.
Then make it a habit to walk in your favorite cafe, whether it's Mobil or Starbucks. Only one exercise can be very useful as an outlet for tension and anxiety. Give warm greetings to the man behind the counter. Human contact is required.
Thus, launching a new procedure, such as the one recommended above, or compiling one of your own, is a critical factor in reconfiguration. Remember that this is a big part - part of your new life, in order to start small procedures that bring you pleasure and communication with others. Self-care is your right and duty when you do your work with sadness.
