I gave birth to four children in three different states. Each hospital had different policies and procedures, and each generic experience was unique.
My last delivery, just a few months ago, was for boys / twin girls.
I started my pregnancy with a new doctor I didn’t like, who was ready to plan a cesarean section in my first trimester. About half of the pregnancy we moved, and I found a completely wonderful doctor. I expressed to him my desire to do everything possible to deliver these twins vaginally. I have never had a c-section before, and I really didn’t want to have it.
He respected my decision and agreed to mention only the c-section section if an emergency occurred.
At the beginning of my third trimester, I had the opportunity to make a trip to the hospital to which I was supposed to deliver. During the tour, I asked if there should be double supplies in the operating room, which is standard in most hospitals, and the tour nurse told me: “How else do you have a section?” She seemed shocked that I would even think about the birth of twins by any other in a way.
On the day of delivery, I was able to work in the family room and was sent to OR only for delivery.
I had a normal job, and they finally took me to the PR. There were about six medical staff in the room, preparing for the delivery and waiting for the doctor. I was worried that the first child went outside and kept telling the nurses: “I think the child is coming,” but for the most part they ignored me. I said it maybe five times. Finally, one nurse told me not to worry that they would catch him if he decided to pretend.
Amid all this activity, I suddenly thought and declared: “Oh, by the way, under no circumstances do I need an episiotomy.”
Immediately, the six people in the room froze and abandoned everything they were working to turn around and look at me. Therefore, I repeated myself. They looked at me as if I were dropping horns from my head. Finally one nurse told me that she would see to it that the doctor knew.
Delivery went well. The second twin decided at the last moment to turn into a little girl, but my doctor, respecting my decision to do everything possible to avoid the c-section, was able to manually rotate it. I also avoided episiotomy, which was completely unnecessary.
The next morning, as I walked around, trying to recuperate, I saw some other new mothers sitting on the ice, moaning and groaning. They did not understand that episiotomy was a choice.
All the nurses who cared about me after giving birth, treated me strangely. As if I was some kind of celebrity. Finally, one nurse spilled the beans. It seemed that I was the first mother who gave the twins vaginally in this hospital for more than ten years.
Ten years.
It amazes me how many hospitals and doctors take certain situations for granted. No vaginal double birth in a decade? How many of these mothers were convinced that their bodies would not do what is natural for them? How many of them had unnecessary operations, a higher risk of infection, and most importantly - not in vain?
You have much more control over the birth of your child in the hospital than you know.
- Episiotomy is not necessary, but if you do not speak or voice your desire not to have it, it can happen to you.
- In some cases, the c-section is optional. There are circumstances when this is necessary, but many of them are made for convenience when other options are available.
- Medications and even IV are not required. If you decide not to experience pain, then you do not need to connect to IV at all.
- Placement on the back on the bed is not necessary. If you do not have epidural anesthesia, you do not need to stay in bed through labor and delivery. Feel free to move around, take a shower and try different job positions that you would like to get more comfortable.
The birth of your child should be happy. This should not be fear and disappointment. Just talk to your doctor and hospital staff about your desires. Do it early in your pregnancy. If it seems to you that your doctor is not serious about your problems, find a new doctor.
