Emotional intelligence is severely undervalued. When you feel stuck, upset, cramped, upset, or depressed, a skilled emotional awareness is the key to moving forward. Your disorder is a special emotion that can help you. The key then is to understand the messages in your feelings and the ability to properly use your energy.
Even so-called “negative emotions,” such as sadness, anger, and fear, convey important information and energy to perform specific actions that can help you and others. Emotions arise for a specific purpose, and when this goal is fulfilled, the feeling subsides. Unfortunately, as a society, we have not learned to understand and adequately appreciate emotional energy and information, so we tend to cope with these feelings roughly.
For example, with an emotion such as anger, you can express it in an explosive way or stick it under the surface, because you do not want to act angry. Either you express your feelings reactively, or you feel a feeling in general.
Emotional Intelligence expert Carla McLaren describes a healthy third alternative. She says that you can contribute to a healthy flow of emotions by consciously “directing” the information and energy that the emotions provide. In other words, emotions contain meaningful messages along with energy to make something related to these messages. This is true for the so-called "negative" emotions, as well as "positive".
For example, McLaren assumes that:
• ANGER occurs when you or someone or something you love is in danger, and you need to take protective measures or establish a firm boundary.
• SADNESS occurs when you need to let go of something that no longer serves you or what has passed, so you can move forward.
• FEAR occurs to encourage you to take preventive measures.
• JOY encourages you to an expansive, expressive, creative action.
• COMPASSIONS invites you to take care of others.
So, every emotion has a MESSAGE and ENERGY to perform a certain type of action. Customizing your emotions helps you receive these messages and take these actions.
Let's look at the first three of these emotions in more detail. Sadness, anger and fear are often misunderstood and poorly handled. We tend to suppress them, remain in them or express them ineptly, with negative consequences.
Thus, since you are working with these emotions, it is important to make it wisely. Approach them as curious observers with due attention, in the present, present, without judgment. Know that emotions are simply information about yourself, others and events, as well as energy to do something with this information. They do not define who you are, and they will pass when you gather your information and take appropriate action.
(Note. If you feel overwhelmed or paralyzed by feelings to such an extent that you cannot consciously handle them yourself, contact a specialist consultant who is trained to work with the emotions of the intention.)
Positive goal sadness
The purpose of sadness is to allow you to let go of what is no longer working, and what has passed and ended. Grief is a watery downward energy that allows you to release something that no longer serves you, so you can return to the flexibility and flexibility in your life.
By giving you proper sadness, you will create space for new energy and new opportunities. If you consciously do not recognize sadness or do not know how to flow with it, you will bury it inside, where it will constantly cycle, or you will be lost in that feeling and will be overwhelmed.
Here is a practice adapted from Carla McLaren's The Language of Emotions, which can help you consciously feel a sense of sadness.
1. When you feel sadness flow into you, take some quiet, personal time to focus on that feeling. Tune in to the feeling of sadness, find the place where it is in your body, and curiously approach it to find out what it will tell you.
2. Take a deep breath, as if you are filling your entire body with your breath. When you exhale, sigh, and feel how your sorrow flows like water through your body, through your legs and feet and down into the ground.
3. Stay focused in your inner space and ask your sadness the question: “What do you need to let go or let go right now?” Do not rush to fill in the answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside.
Repeat breath breathing through your body as many times as you feel the need, and keep your question open to your defect, knowing what you need to answer. You can immediately find out what you need to let go of, or you will find it will become clear later. In any case, adjusting for sadness (or any emotion) consciously initiates a process of discovery and integration that will help you move forward.
Positive goal of anger
Anger arises to create and maintain personal boundaries and to protect personal space. You get angry when your personal border or the border of someone or something that bothers you, is violated or violated. When you can identify the source of the perceived threat and use the energy available in anger to strengthen your personal space and take appropriate measures, the anger will recede. This will accomplish its task.
Here is a practice adapted from McLaren to gather information and use energy in your anger:
1. When you feel angry, rise, focus inside your body and become more in contact with the sensation of feeling. Come to curiosity to learn more about it.
2. Take a deep breath. When you exhale, imagine and feel how the energy in your anger flows into the sphere around the width of the arms around you, your personal border, strengthening it with bright color. Do this until you feel a shift in your energy, so that you can witness, feel and work with energy in your anger without consuming it.
3. Ask your anger this question: “What needs to be protected or restored?”
4. Then ask: “What action will restore healthy boundaries and protect what is important?”
These questions will help you determine what the threat feels like, so you can take appropriate action. Try this when anger arises and see how it works for you.
Positive goal of fear
We were told: “Fear is what keeps us” and “The only thing to be afraid of is fear itself.” If we can only overcome our fears, we can live fully and realize our hopes and dreams. But what if this many years of wisdom regarding fear missed something? What if fear in its basic form is one of our wise mentors?
Emotions have three main forms: an unconscious reactive expression, a depressed cyclic state, and a healthy free current state. Perhaps we are familiar only with the first two forms of fear: a reactive expression that causes us to shrink and suppress a condition that creates a constant low level alarm.
Fear in its healthy, free-flowing form is something completely different. What if fear can signal an intuitive understanding of what needs attention? What if he can warn you about important actions?
This form of fear is a sixth sense that extends through your personal space to pick up signals about what is happening inside you, with other people and in your environment. Fear can alert you to what is happening in your own body. He can warn you about the actions and intentions of people around you and the conditions in the environment. When you learn to recognize this information, it can help you choose wise actions.
To learn how to use fear as a wise guide, try this simple practice:
1. When you feel fear, go to a quiet, personal moment to focus on that feeling. Tune in to the feeling of fear, find the place where it is in your body, and curiously approach it to find out what it will tell you.
2. Take a deep breath, as if you are filling your entire body with your breath. When you exhale, imagine and feel that your breath fills the sphere of your personal space around the width of your arm around your entire body. Meaning in your personal space and in the wider space around you and the search for subtle signals. For example, you can be attracted to an area inside your body or look at something or someone in your environment. You may feel the urge to move aside or away from something.
3. Stay focused in your personal space and ask your fear of the question: “What actions need to be taken right now?” Do not rush to fill in the answer. Instead, keep the question open. Listen and feel inside. See what it represents. You may have inspiration to take concrete action.
It may take time to learn to recognize the direction signals. As best as possible be patient. The simple effect of tuning on emotional signals is a cultivated skill. You will have the opportunity to feel the inner guidance from fear and all your emotions with the help of conscious practice over time.
You will also learn to recognize the quality of the signals, which represent the exact present manual from false interpretations based on a painful past experience. There is an excellent quality of sensation for accurate and false guidance. False leadership may feel anxiety, stress, or rush. He is fixated on what happened in the past, or worrying too much about the future. Accurate emotional leadership has an actual, present, unsurpassed quality that seems to be the ideal time.
So, in general, how emotions arise, instead of fearing them, that if you greet them, they become curious and ask:
• What is the feeling of this emotion in my body?
• What is the emotion?
• What is the message in this feeling?
• What is he asking for me?
